While culling my bookmarks, I ran across this:Peter’s Evil Overlord List. Thought I would share a sampling of some gems of wisdom found therein. (I took the liberty to add the Googled images….)

  • My force field generators will be located inside the force field they generate.
  • My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

  • The gun turrets on my fortress will not rotate enough so that they may direct fire inward or at each other.

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  • I will not send out battalions composed wholly of robots or skeletons against heroes who have qualms about killing living beings.
  • My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it’s an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
  • If my mad scientist tells me that my superweapon is almost finished, but requires more testing, I will wait for him to complete the testing. No one ever conquered the world by using a beta-version.
  • When it is prophesized that “no man will defeat me”, I will keep in mind the growing presence and influence of non-traditional gender roles in the world today.
  • I will never attend an auction of an “ultimate weapon”. If the weapon were really that good, the auctioneer would already be Evil Overlord.

  • I will always dress in bright, cheery colors… Mostly soft pastels. Wearing nothing but black is too depressing, while wearing all white is too boring.

  • My Legions of Terror will have uniforms designed by a talented fashion designer, and will not be a cheap knockoff of the Nazi SS uniform, the roman foot-soldier uniform, or the clothing of the savage Mongol horde. All such groups were eventually defeated, and I want my troopers to have a more positive outlook about themselves.
  • If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

Disclaimer – In no way, shape, or form do I endorse the aspiration to becoming an Evil Overlord 😉

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2 thoughts on “A pulp sci-fi cliché or two for you…..

  1. Great. Now I feel more equipped to be the greatest evil lord the world has ever seen (but I’m not sure about the Hello Vader style).
    Thanks for the fun post!

  2. Hi Timothy,

    I now feel compelled to add a disclaimer to the post. I hope I have not aided in enabling aspiring Evil Overlords. 😉

    Thanks for stopping by, Timothy!

    Ron

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