While culling my bookmarks, I ran across this:Peter’s Evil Overlord List. Thought I would share a sampling of some gems of wisdom found therein. (I took the liberty to add the Googled images….)
- My force field generators will be located inside the force field they generate.
- My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
- The gun turrets on my fortress will not rotate enough so that they may direct fire inward or at each other.
- I will not send out battalions composed wholly of robots or skeletons against heroes who have qualms about killing living beings.
- My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it’s an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
- If my mad scientist tells me that my superweapon is almost finished, but requires more testing, I will wait for him to complete the testing. No one ever conquered the world by using a beta-version.
- When it is prophesized that “no man will defeat me”, I will keep in mind the growing presence and influence of non-traditional gender roles in the world today.
- I will never attend an auction of an “ultimate weapon”. If the weapon were really that good, the auctioneer would already be Evil Overlord.
- I will always dress in bright, cheery colors… Mostly soft pastels. Wearing nothing but black is too depressing, while wearing all white is too boring.
- My Legions of Terror will have uniforms designed by a talented fashion designer, and will not be a cheap knockoff of the Nazi SS uniform, the roman foot-soldier uniform, or the clothing of the savage Mongol horde. All such groups were eventually defeated, and I want my troopers to have a more positive outlook about themselves.
- If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
Disclaimer – In no way, shape, or form do I endorse the aspiration to becoming an Evil Overlord 😉